What the God

Written by AJ Teaters

What would Jesus do is like the MacGyver of Christian questions. It can get you out of any situation with the same precise intuition as if MacGyver had a bar of soap, a piece of Swiss cheese, a 9-volt battery and a broken light bulb. All I have to say is problem solved, right? When in a jam all you have to do is reach into your (now single) bag of tricks and pull out a single phrase to solve all your problems, “What would Jesus do?”

The great thing about this phrase is that if you ever forget it it's everywhere! T-shirts, bracelets, hats, stickers, underwear; everybody you look at (in the Christian realm) probably owns or has owned something with the initials WWJD on it and I can probably think of a few people that would benefit from having WWJD across the crotch of their underwear! Nothing says, “Keep it in your pants,” like asking yourself, “What would Jesus do?” Wait, then did Jesus ever have to remind himself to keep it in His pants... er... uh... tunic?

As awkward and strange as the question is to ask, isn't that the crux of this question? What would Jesus do is any given situation? First maybe we should look at all the situations Jesus was in:

1. Backstabbing Friend

We have all been in that nasty situation where someone we thought was our friend turned around and stabbed us in the back. Telling someone a secret we didn't want them to know, or stealing someone we were “crushing on”. Possibly spreading rumors about you because they were jealous of your popularity or social standings, you know, to know you down a few pegs. Women do tend to have this happen (or at least they think this happens) more often than men. However Jesus had to deal with the biggest backstabbing dill-hole friends in history. His friend just didn't let out a secret crush He had or that He had a problem performing with women. No, Jesus had his friend turn Him over to the police who then mocked, beat and killed Him... Nice friend, huh?

2. Promiscuous women

What is it about a bad girl that men just can't get outta their heads? Is it a crime to want a girl that looks like an angel but is bad to the bone? Girls that you know aren't good for you are always the ones that entice us the most (sorry if this is a singular point of view, but I'm a guy) and make us do stupid, rash and inappropriate things. These were the girls that Jesus surrounded Himself with. The same type of women that men know aren't good for them, were the same women that Jesus welcomed with open arms. How's that for an image booster in the community?! Can anyone else here the elders (old people) talking about this?

“Did you hear about that Jesus boy?” “Yeah, I hear He is running around with a bunch of sailors, sluts and whores!” “Really?! What would His mother say, doesn't He even care about His family?” “People are talking... They say that He says that those sailors, sluts and whores ARE HIS FAMILY?!”

“Well if He comes around, I don't care if He's the Son of God, I'm still gonna tell Him to get off my lawn!”

3. People spreading rumors about Him

This one kinda gets a little tricky. Rumors are a lot like sarcastic jokes, they always has hurt because there is a small amount of truth to them. Why would we concern ourselves so much with rumors if they really were complete fabrications, nothing but BIG FAT LIES? The reason we do is because rumors are one of two things: 1) they are true or 2) they were true but have become misconstrued somewhere along the way (like that telephone game we all played as kids... the sentence starts out “monkeys eat green bananas,” and by the end of the game/line it has turned into “my car keys stink like mean goats in Montana.”) Jesus had to deal with a lot of rumors from a vast number of people and religious groups during His time. He had to deal with the full gamut of rumors about Him, they ranged anywhere from Messiah to Fraud. Not only did Jesus have to deal with the aforementioned rumors about his friends being sailors, sluts and whores, but Most all the rumors that were spread about Jesus were true. He did hang out with the “wrong crowd” (beggars, cheats, thieves, prostitutes, liars, lepers, etc.). He was the King of the Jews, technically He is the King of everyone. And to be perfectly honest, I think that the rumors that are true are the worst that you have to deal with. Why, because the rumors have be circulating without your knowledge and you have to answer questions that people have already answered in their heads. Refer to Bible verse for support: Matthew 16: 13-20

4. Estranged Father

Let's clear this up before we start this point, Jesus' father is God. Having God as a father has to be one of the most difficult situations there is to live with. Could you imagine having a father that is never around (physically) but sees/knows everything you do?! Talk about “Daddy Issues”! Just imagine having to explain that your dad was God on “Who is your daddy and what does he do” Day.

Try and picture this coming from His teacher:

Teacher: “Jesus, I got the note from your mom saying that your Dad won't be able to make it to class today, but could you tell us what your Dad does for a living?”

Jesus: “Ummm... ok... So, my Dad... ah yeah... my Dad. Well, my Father arts in Heaven... O.K. So basically my Dad created everything.”

Teacher: “Jesus I've had enough of your 'story-telling'! Go to the Rabbi's office!”

Personally, I have always had my dad in my life and looking at it from that perspective I know that I don't know how I could have survived without him. Sorry, you need to give me a second to get my panties untwisted; they get that way when I get all teary eyed talking about my dad. Honestly, I don't know how people live without their father in their lives, it seems like an impossible task to grow up without one. I know this is coming from only one side of the spectrum but know that Jesus went through this same dilemma.

5. Poor family

Have you ever been in the position where someone asks what your parents do for a living and you really wished that they did something more interesting or something that is looked at with a little more respect (monetarily speaking). Not only that but also being ashamed of where you live, the clothes you have to wear or what car your parents drive (you know that car... The 1989 Toyota Minivan with the “two-tone custom sun bleached” paint job and the rusted out bumper that looks more like mashed toast than anything close to metal. OH! And don't forget the busted out passenger window that was covered with a garbage bag and duct tape). That may not have been the exact car but you know that feeling in the pit of your stomach rollin' close to school wishing that your parents would just drop you off around the corner instead of out in front for everyone to see the POS that you have to be chauffeured around in.

Here's a thought for you, Do you think Jesus ever felt this way about his family and where He was socially/economically? Do you think Jesus resented the “life” He was born into, wishing He had a better donkey with chrome shoes or a higher profile job than a carpenter? As interesting a story as being born in a manger is, I can't imagine it would be a source of pride in your life (kinda like being born in the back of a car... that your family still uses) Doubt that you would ever tell your friend, “By the way, where you're sitting is the same seat where my mom gave birth to me!” Would it have been wrong for Him to have these thoughts/feelings, after all Jesus was fully man, or did He have these same feelings we deal with and just deal with them in a more divine fashion (surrendering them to God)?

So, what makes WWJD the proverbial Swiss Army Knife of Christianity? Why can Christians use this acronym no matter the situation they may find themselves in? The fact that we have to realize is that Jesus has been put in every situation known to man and beast once He was nailed to the cross.

Is there a situation that WWJD wouldn't work in? Is there something everyone should wear to remind them to ask WWJD? Can you think of a situation that could have been better resolved if you would have asked WWJD?