What the God

Written by KC Procter

Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to John, to be baptized by him. 

John would have prevented him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?" But Jesus answered him, "Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness." Then he consented. 

And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:13-17, English Standard Version courtesy of God and the folks at BibleGateway.com)

So WHY did Jesus get baptized?

Traditionally baptism is reserved for sinners who've made a decision to acknowledge their sin, recognize Christ as their savior and desire to make a public profession of faith. Jesus wasn't a sinner, otherwise that whole crucified on the cross debacle was a waste of time. Even John the Baptist was caught off guard and told Jesus it should be the other way around (side note: I love John's mafia-esque moniker. What would your biblical gangster name be?).

"Oh, hey Jesus. What? You want me to baptize you? Whoa, wait a second. You're the Son of God, Savior of all mankind, dying for sins, the prophesied walking-on-water Messiah, right? I should be baptized by you! Actually that'd be really nice because I've been at this all day and if I've gotta dunk one more sweaty shepherd my shoulder will cramp up."

John ended up baptizing Jesus anyway, and mulling over the historic implications of this epic event only a few scenarios come to mind:

It was a hot day

We can just picture Jesus, sitting there in the shade of a sycamore tree on a lunch break with his earthly dad, Joseph. The sun is bright in the sky, it's blistering hot and the humidity is hellish. Since Jesus didn't have a pool in the backyard (He was only a carpenter after all), and air conditioning was a long way off, what's better than to go for a dip in the Jordan river? The cool, crisp water would've been most refreshing. Sheesh, even I could go for a swim right about now.

Jesus smelled bad and didn't want to bathe Himself

Being the Son of God sent to earth to suffer and die for all mankind's iniquities has very few perks. Add to the equation that showers and the practice of bathing regularly wouldn't be implemented for at least a millennium and I bet you $100 Christ's natural fragrance was closer in the vicinity to old spices than Old Spice. Royalty typically don't dress themselves or wipe their own hindquarters let alone bathe themselves. I see Jesus' insistence on John baptizing Him as a sort of, "Alright, I'm dying on the cross for all y'alls sins so I get this one thing alright!? Go easy on the Herbal Essence."

Christ seized a river wrestling opportunity

It's an established biblical fact that JC and JtB were cousins (I'm not sure whether they were first cousins once removed or what so we'll keep it simple). No stretch of the imagination is required to assume these two horsed around and caused a ruckus as kids. Boys will be boys after all. The verses above probably omitted the part where JC came tearing across the top of the water and body slammed JtB to the riverbed.

To kickoff His earthy ministry

I think this quote from the Pope says it best: "Jesus inaugurated his public ministry by stepping into the place of sinners with their guilt on his shoulders and carrying it down into the depths of the Jordan. His baptism by John marked his acceptance of death for the sins of humankind; his coming up out of the water depicted his resurrection" (thank you, Wikipedia). Christ began his ministry with an act of humility, demonstrating his role as the bearer of our sins by identifying himself with sinners through baptism.

I can't imagine what it would've been like to be a disciple of John, to hear his message of the coming Messiah and then one scorching day by the Jordan River - BAM! - there's Jesus...

"Hey cousin, I need to be dunked by you."  

"No way JC, You should be the one dunking me."  

"No, this is the way it's gotta be."

*DUNK*  

[Dove descends]  

[Jesus Thinks] That little bird better not crap on me I just got clean  

GOD SPEAKS: "That's a my boy."

Don't know about you, but if I were standing there and God suddenly parted the heavens and spoke I'd probably have severely soiled my tunic.

Have you been baptized? Why or why not?